New Blog

Yo suckas. I migrated this blog over to a wordpress blog under my murried name so I could be cool with the cool kids.

www.amymorby.com

Add it to your blogroll...get rid of this one and love it.

I have no shame.

Alright. I gave in. I think I am officially....a digital scrapbooker. SICK! I can't tell you how many years I have fought my family on the idiocracy that is scrapbooking. But here I am...posting my first digital scrapbook page on this stupid blog. I almost want to break my own knee caps for it. I can't help it..I'm a graphic designer...this is in my blood. I say if it means I can work with Photoshop, then it's legit design. So suck it all you haters. Digital scrapbooking is kool. In fact, I would even go so far as to suggest that we ban the term scrapbooking and all its unholiness forever. It's graphic design kids...embrace it. It's cheap, it's fun, and it's photoshoppy.

My first page...

To the Nephs

There are two things in life that make everything absofreakinlutely fantastic. 1.) Mitch Morby 2.) Katamari Damacy and 3.) Being an aunt.

I love being an aunt more than most things on this Earth. Collin, Luke, and Henry are easily the koolest kids I know...hands down. I don't have kids yet, but i tell you what...I love these 3 little boys more than is humanly possible. They are not only adorable beyond belief, but so smart and hilarious too. They're like one big jumble of hilarity, and I love them.

You know what sucks though? Living far away from your nephews. Worst thing EVER. I never get to see them...ever. And it kills me. Now that it's Christmas, I miss them more than ever. Yeah..I may or may not have bawled on Sunday because I missed them so dang much. Christmas probably won't be quite the same without them. Collin and I are party animals..don't even get between us and our Cars coloring book. And Luke? shoooooot....we just can't get enough of climbing on things. And sweet baby Henry....cutest baby I know. I'm so so excited that he'll be here for Christmas. I can't wait.

Look at these boys...


Luke's a boy after my own heart...toting a can of diet coke.


Me and C-money go way back...making sweet reindeer snowmen and coloring until our fingers blister. Good times.


Oh man...last year's new years eve? Scrumtrilescent. Me and Collin ran around our neighborhood circle...tooting our horns and eating snow. woot!


And don't you dare forget sweet baby Henry. Henry Christian Hyer. What a bundle of delicious joy.




Being an aunt is easily the best call in life. I couldn't love these nephs more. Colling and Luke, I miss you, buddies. And Henricus, I can't friggin' wait to spend Christmas with you this week. You and your horse are the most adorable pairing since me and my Wonder Horse, Salad, and I love you man.

April and Jill, thank you so much for letting me be an aunt to your beautiful boys. I love them more than you'll ever know. Sorry to get all cheesy on everyone, but...I really can't help it. I have the best nephews in the world. No battle. Keep poppin' 'em out, April and Jill....I need all the nephs I can get.

Connie...you piece of poo. I will cut you.

Today whilst driving to the hell hole otherwise known as work, my sweet baby Connie broke down.

For those of you not savvy with the thug life of Connie...here she is. A beautiful, maroon, pee stain, butt hole Ford Probe. Kill me. I hate her. I really do. Worst car ever invented. Just look at it.



We're talking...we're accelerating and all the sudden she poops her proverbial car pants and just stalls. Luckily we were on a big hill, so we just coasted down to a gas station and bought a 44 oz. Fresca to appease my outright hostility and discombobulation at Connie breaking down yet again. We tried to get to work...we really did. But Connie's tailpipe made a weird whistling noise, and due to my fear of being asphyxiated and Connie's refusal to move past 3rd gear...we had to stay at the gas station.

So what do we do now? I say burn that mother down. I fix Connie every single winter of my discontent, and I've had it. Connie is nothing but a confounded gypsy wagon. I will have no part of it.

So even though Connie is paid for...whatever. I hate you Connie.

aw skeet skeet skeet on tweet

yo sucka punches.

I'm now on twitter. Tweet me. Follow me. Love me.

Werd.

elton and prince holiday gala

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

i heart japan pt. deux

This is what being bored at work will find you.

Also, bless this man for his brash intellect and strange genius.

katamari damacy my heart

This is the single best day of my life. I was just informed that there is a Katamari Damcy for xbox 360. Angels are singing from the heavens and golden confetti is falling upon this glorious Japanese infused gamer world.

Perhaps Santa will bring it if I'm real good and shave my legs and stop eating too much beef jerky.

Christmas in my Belly

So this weekend, me and Mitch town cruised down to SLC punk to partake in some holiday festivities. We ate a butt load of Mexican food, farted lots, and went to the Festival of Trees, my absolute favorite holiday event of the year. What could be better than lots of white trash frolicking amongst rows of beautifully decorated trees? Seriously though...I love the Festival of Trees. If I could, I'd eat it. And I kinda did because they have really, REALLY good scones there, and I ate one.

The joy of the Festival inspired me to share with the whole 2 people that read my blog my top 10 fav things about Christmas. woot!

10. Decorations: My house is full of them. I love them. I crave them. It's all part of being a woman. My tree is crazy packed with ornaments, and it's glorious. Absolutely glorious. I love it more than anything except my husband and possibly Christmas itself. And if you don't like this cat swaddled in decorations, then suck it







9. Clark Griswold: 2nd best Christmas movie ever made--no battle. It's a real...nice...surprise. Are you serious, Clark? And don't try and tell me you don't have the stereotypical crazy relatives like Uncle Eddie. Hooray for this show. Mom, forgive the language. Blame it on Uncle Eddie.
































8. Christmas Music: Mock me all you want, but if you hate Christmas muic, it's because you haven't listened to my collection. My personal favs?
















John Denver & the Muppets will change your life in the most pleasant of ways. And yes..Neil Diamond is Jewish, yet he has a Christmas album. Also, I've been known to listen to FM 100.3 all December long. I'm festive. Sue me.



7. Elf: THE best Christmas movie ever. I love Will Ferrell, and I love him more in Elf. Is there sugar in it? Then YES.











6. Gingerbread: in any size, shape, or form. Is it gingerbread creamer in my hot choclate? yes please. Is it a gingerbread candle? yap. Gingerbread houses? Even better.















5. Charlie Brown Christmas: It's not Christmas until I watch it. No battle.

















4. Christmas Lights on Houses: the crazier the better. Yes, I like extravagant blow-up things on the lawn, and I REALLY like crazy patterns of colored lights, preferably synchronized to music with lasers and bulldogs. Someday, I will enter and WIN a neighborhood Christmas lights competition.



















3. Sugar Cookies: Make them every year, and they are the jam. You haven't lived until you've had an Amy Morby sugar cookie yo. Stop by my humble, Christmas jam-packed abode and I'll make you some.























2. Christmas Festivities: Festival of Trees, Temple Square, ugly sweater parties, cheesy musical concerts, sledding, hot chocolate consuming, whatever. I love it all. Mo' festivities mo' joy.

I couldn't find a good pic for this, so...Tijuana Christmas!! Simon!


















1. Christmas Friggin' Day: The best day of any year, hands down. I love people opening the presents I give them, the stockings, the monkey bread and breakfast casserole, the familia partying all day getting high on eggnog, xbox, and life....everything.

This is Christmas day last year when I got my luscious MacBook. Collin got a little guy computer too, so he was excited that I got one too. Hooray for nephews!!








Well kids, that's my list. And secretly, there are thousands of other things on my list that didn't make the blogging cut such as...scarves, mittens, fireplaces, penguins, seeing funny old men that look like Santa but really have nothing to do with Santa, neighbor gifts, whole bags of vanilla tootsie rolls, oranges in my stocking, and on and on and on.

I'm a Christmas nerd/retard. I have no shame. I love it. Only 17 days, 5 hours, 46 mins, and 29 seconds until Christmas 2K8.

My Odelay to Caucasian Sensation

Today and always I <3 Beck.
Being white never rhymed so phat. werd.

Patsy Cline Saved my Life

I <3 Patsy Cline today.

Thanksgiving in AZ

Best Thanksgiving ever! This year for Thanksgiving was me and Mitch's first together as married little scamps. His family was having a ginormous reunion of sorts in Arizona, so we all packed in a cozy expedition with 8 people and headed into the perfect climate of Arizona. The drive was long, but we had the whole first season of Lost to watch,and I am sad to say I am now on the Lost bandwagon.

We spent most of our time hangin out at Mitch's grandma's house, which is right on a golf course. Mitch got to golf two days in a row, so he was a happy camper. Here is a view of him right after he hit a house. yikes. I took it from his grandma's porch to show that she literally lives on the golf course. Crazy old people.



We had Thanksgiving at his Uncle Kent and Aunt Lorie's house, and it was the jam. The food was incredible, and they had a bangin' pool with a hot tub that flowed into the pool. They had two super cute dogs--Mia and Molly--and then Mitch's cousin Justin brought his schnauzer, Remington. This is important to blog about solely for the fact that I am a dog fiend, and I am in dire need of a dog. So anyone that has a good idea of how to smuggle a dog into my pet-hater apartment complex, let me know.

This is Mia. She's a lab weenie dog mix, and I'm going to steal her someday.



Mia made us throw the ball in the pool over and over and over. She's a little weenie fish.


On Friday, we did the inevitable Black Friday shopping, which was a blast. I secretly live for mad dash shopping amongst soccer moms turned mongrel. I got some good deals AND saw a little girl throw up. So fun! I also learned how to play Pokeno with Mitch's grandma and his darling cousins Allie and Grace. They are a hoot, and Life Twists and Turns is easily the coolest game ever. Maybe I'll ask Santa to put it in my stocking.But Pokeno? Gambling with pennies? With Mitch's grandma? Amazing.

We also went to the Mesa, AZ temple Friday night to see the glorious Christmas lights. That temple is awesome, and the lights were pretty cool too. They put lights on the palm trees there--not as cool as Salt Lake, but definitely awesome.





You can kinda see the cool palm tree lights in this one...



Even though I came home with a wicked cold, this was one of the best Thanksgivings I've ever had. Mitch is the coolest cat I know, and I am the luckiest/happiest/most blessed girl in the world to be hitched to him. We had a blast, and I still don't know how I am so lucky to be married to my best friend. Sappy I know but..suck it. We're in love.

Yay for Thanksgiving, and I can't wait for Christmas. Woot!

Name Tomfoolery

i stole this from my nukka Jess. It's a good time.

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names)
Jo Sander

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad)
Paul George. (Two first names....perfect nascar name...I love you Ricky Bobby.)

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)
Moamy (what if my first name only consists of 3 letters? lame.)

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Chartreuse Duck (sounds more like a stripper name to me.)

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
Rebecca Jordan (sounds more like a girl that went to my high school in a Maurice cowboy shirt with box hair. whatev.)

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add “THE” to the beginning)
The pink pepper. (bwahaha....does diet dr. pepper count as a fav beverage? also, does this mean I need to start wearing a shirt that says "I'm a pepper?"

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Maiden Name: Aman (biblical?)
Married Pimp Name: Amby (this just sounds like a collie dog's name. I don't want it.)

8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):
Cookie dough Suga (definitely not thug. i'm pissed.)

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet’s name, current street name)
Vinny East (say hello to your motha for me, alright?)

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Amos Hawksbill (definitely not a porn name but....still classy.)

que bueno

Life is good. You know why it's good?

-tomato soup in my belly
-christmas in 36 days
-thanksgiving in arizona in 7ish days with the rockin' in-laws jigga whooooo?
-busting the scarves out of the closet
-putting a space heater under my desk at work
-watching dirty harry with my esposo
-my startling transformation into an xbox junkie low-life.
-bunco night is tomorrow
-my apartment has a fireplace for both warmth AND christmas stocking hangage
-too many boogers in my nose
-pumpkin candles
-looking at bulldog puppies on KSL and secretly shedding glistening tears that the landlord is anti-pet.
-tall cold ones of nesquik
-e-mails that say my next netflix pick has been sent
-trips to hobby lobby
-getting a comcast bill for $.49
-twinkies
-morgan freeman

weddin day preview

Sorry. I know it's been forever, but the wedding day photos are coming. for now, here is a delightful preview from Tawsha's site...The Color Blue Photography. She's amazing. Book her now!!

if I were a man, I'd have a fu manchu

So today, Mitch told me i should shave my mustachio. I said h no, I won't go. i love my fu manchu.



so then, I told him to shave his gnarly stache.



But he said h no, i won't go. So then I manscaped my stache to be a little more geek to chic jenny jones stylee. I also dyed it black for flavor.



All in all, I think I look best with the fu manchu.

Happy Halloweenie

So remember how a while ago I blogged about my intense and slightly embarrassing love for Captain and Tennille? Prolly not. But just so you know, I have an odd obsession with the 70s, namely the sensational pop duo, Captain and Tennille. So for Halloween, Mitch and I decided to gussy up in true 70s fashion.

The real Cap'n and T-town:




Me and Mitchtown as the C&T:


Yeah, that's right. Mom jeans never looked so good.






But don't ask me about the wig...let's just say that trying to cut and curl your own k-mart wig is NOT a good idea. And wow, look at that Mitchell Blayne. I still can't believe how much he looks like captain--down to the angry disposition and all.

We spent the day "working" at work and then having a cubicle trick-or-treating party where none of the kids knew who we were. In fact, i think they were a little alarmed by the pouch protruding underneath my 9 inch zipper. When looking around the room and pointing out costumes, one child turned to me and said, "um..that's a woman." And boy was Tennille a woman.

We made a butt load of sugar cookies for the big party sweet baby Chana planned at the Gymnastics place. I'm happy to say that Mitch did all the detail work.





Chana is pretty much the coolest person ever solely for the fact that she was a bald britney spears for Halloween. Bless you Chana. You are a genius.



The following slideshow shows a little glimpse of the hilarity that ensued Halloween night. I now know that I love trampolines and balance beams. I also know that I can consume copious amounts of muddy buddies in seconds flat. Dang you Chana. Don't you ever make those again. Also, I now know why mom jeans quickly went out of style. There is nothing worse than hula hooping and performing a gymnastics floor routine with painful camel toe.

And just in case you didn't catch it in the slideshow...


Sweet baby Chana.


All in all, this Halloween was easily the best in a looong time. Mostly because I have a husband and mostly because we were dressed up as the lamest 70s pop duo of all time. Mitch even carved pumpkins with me, which meant the world to me since I'm a retard and love to be overly festive. One look at our fireplace pretty much sums it all up. I'm going to be a PTA mom who wears applique vests.

mitch loves autism and pumpkins.




punkins in the dark.


Holidays are the best. Let's just say I can't wait until Christmas.

Honeymoon in my Spoon

oh my laws...i fail at life. I know. No blog post since the big marriage. Well, you know what? Suck it. I've been livin' it up bein' married in the 2K8 nukka please!

So, to make up for my horrendous lack of blogtation dalmation plantation, I'm going to catch you all up on the details of our scrumptious honeymoon: a Cruise in the Mexican Riviera 2k8. To make this post not so long and lugubrious, I shall present the honeymoon to you in a lame slideshow:

Create a Free Slideshow

Unfortunately, the coolest part of our cruise wasn't documented because cameras weren't allowed. It was dangerous and there were bears. But not really. But seriously though, we went on a canopy tour, and I'm still wrestling with the stains in my pants.

We first took a crazy speed boat/raft thing out to the jungle where Predator was filmed. Yes, Predator. Then we took a huge military mercedes truck up a very treacherous road through a tiny fishing village. once we got the the headquarters, we suited up in harnesses and hard hats and hopped on mules. si, mules! muy bueno! That was easily the coolest part for me. I rode into the rainforest on a mule...for 30 mins. Best 30 mins ever. Once we got to the top, we ziplined down a bunch of crazy ziplines. I may or may not have forgotten to brake on one zipline and seriously thought i was going to die. I cannot confirm nor deny that. After 4 or 5 ziplines, we then rappelled down a waterfall...we're talking IN the waterfall...not just daintily hopping around it, but IN it. It was amazing. After more ziplines, we free fall rappelled into another waterfall and got soaked in delicious mexi rainforest water. It was easily the coolest thing I have ever done, and secretly I want to live with the orangutans in there and harvest mules.

Anyway, that's our honeymoon in a nutshell. I am now Amy Morby and LOVING it. I have a rice cooker, a kitchenaid, and a bangin' husband. I love his guts. We're disgustingly happy.

Morbys 2K8! werd.

gettin' hitched

So I took my bridals on Saturday...I get married in 9 days. Good night nurse. Here is a little sneak peek...